Me and gay friends decided to do a picnic at Hong Lim
Park where some people had organised the 6.9 million protest. It was too
crowded, felt like Michael Jackson concert so we had to find a less crowded
spot pretty far away from where the whole commotion was, laid our picnic mat like
the Pinoys and ate our homemade ham and cheese baguette. While silly Singaporeans
had shown support for the 6.9 million protest, I was more interested to check
out any good looking people lurking somewhere. You know, this was the time to
be seen and I leaped at any opportunity available to market myself. Ehem! Sad
to say, there were no cute guys. Most Singaporeans are ugly (thank God I’m
not!). And most of the time I wasn’t really listening to what the speakers had
said. Actually it was TJ’s (very handsome gay friend) idea of going to Hong Lim Park because he said he wanted to show support. I've never like crowd so it was boring for me. Besides, I don’t care about
Singapore politics! I only care about getting married and finding someone to
fuck! Arrrggghhh!
You know that feeling that you don’t ever want to end up
being a spinster all your life. Like when I’m 40, I just want to find that
someone to fuck, play with his penis every morning, have sex in kitchen,
toilet or even at the balcony. Woah alfresco style! So what if you have lotsa money, by the time you
grow old, there is no one by your side while you are on the deathbed. I don’t
want that to happen to me. What’s important for me now is to find happiness by
fucking with someone I love and he loves me too. I have never given up on love
and I know someday, somehow I will find that special someone. Till then, I will keep hanging out with my fun gay friends, go clubbing and just party!
Okay, okay. Many of you would say that finding a suitor in a
club is a wrong move. But where else can people of my age go? Networking,
speed dating, match-making? Been there and done all that. All fail! Trust me, the people who flocked to these organised dating events are 99% the ugly looking, perverts, freaks, and pyschos.
Looking at all these stupid Singaporeans with their panoramic
xenophobia got me thinking about how Singaporeans are two-faced fools. I, Grumpy
Spinster do not and will never fucking support this stupid 6.9 million protest
because:
1.
I want an ang moh husband and conceive beautiful
mix-breed children.
2.
I want more ang moh to come so it will increase
the probablity of me meeting my future husband.
3. It also increases the chance of me fucking more
men as drought season is hitting V town again..yay!
4.
I could be the poster girl for embracing the
foreign talents (whites only campaign).
5. Dear government please don’t include Pinoys
and PRCs because they are smelly, I hate their curvy ‘R’ accent and I hate them
in competition towards finding my future husband. They are also competing for White males, meaning it reduces
my chances dramatically. So please scrap them from your projection, include whites only please. Thank you.
Honestly, Singaporeans are hypocrites and morons. They all
went down to Hong Lim Park to protest against foreigners but actually their friends
and relatives, brother, sister, aunty, uncle or what nots are also embracing
foreigners with open arms just like me. Actually, they love ang moh so much.
That’s why when ang moh speak to them they also tend to follow the accent.
That’s why when ang moh customer buy something, Singaporean sales girls treat
them like king and speak to them in a soft spoken manner. Fucking sluts.
Come to think of it, if Singaporeans are so anti-foreigners,
why didn’t they also go and protest when their sister, brother, niece, nephew,
father, mother, grandfather, or great great grandfather got married to
foreigners? Why didn’t they protest against the marriage? Scared ah? Imagine
the impact of family relationships if those newly married inter-nationality/racial couples found out that their relative is actually actually xenophobic. That
would be chaos. The chances of the white male running away with his Singaporean partner and permanently reside in his hometown is pretty high. There
goes a loved one stolen away...
I also noticed Singaporeans are crazy about foreign labels -
kitchenware, underwear, bags, toothbrush, cars or even condoms – oh we just
love imported ang moh products. Since they hate foreigners, maybe they should
also boycott foreign imports and stop using foreign labels so as to make their xenophobic
statement more impactful.
Singaporeans are also crazy about foreign countries. If you
ask any superficial Singaporean about their top 3 must-go destinations, one of
them would definitely be an ang moh country: Paris, Rome, Hamburg, San
Franscisco, blah blah. “Oh I want to see and feel snow before I die” or “I want
to visit the Trevi Fountain and toss a coin”. We know the answers because we
have succumbed to the world of western imperialism. Even our food, culture and
language now have been westernized. If they want to stand firm on the 6.9
million protest, then they should stop visiting ang moh
countries altogether. If your boss sends you to ang moh country for work, just say it is
against your principles.
One thing’s for sure, I welcome this ang moh foreigners
into our country. I love white men (except Americans like
Walker). Because
they are sextisfying! It’s not all bleak journey for spinsters; there is a glimmer of hope for
spinsters like me to get settle down, altogether putting an end to our spinsterhood. Break that curse! Yes!!!!!!
To be loved and to love. Please la, you selfish married people already have
bobbing babies, it would be easier for you guys to say no to foreigners. But
what about the growing number of unmarried men and women? We too need a steady
flow of fuck. People like me are tired of looking, searching and roaming around
just so we could end up with someone who love us just as we love them End of
the day, it is all about companionship and Singaporeans are just not good
enough for spinsters. 2030 is not that far, although I’d be in my 50s by then,
but it’s okay, love has no age limit. (happy jig*)
To all spinsters, let’s say Hellloooooo to the numbers 6 and
9 yeah!
