Thursday, 26 April 2012

How on earth I became an SPG

It started when I was a young girl. I had fantasized about marrying a prince charming who is tall, white and handsome. Just like the ones in Cinderella and Snow White fairy tales. I dreamt that I would grow up to be a beautiful woman (still beautiful) and I will give my first kiss to a handsome white male.

Then came history class where we learn about British occupation in Singapore. I went to the library and saw several books with pictures of white male with frisky moustaches. Not really my fancy but the desire still unabated. I was determined to kiss a white boy.

When I was in secondary school, I was into UK boy band craze. Boyzone, Take That, East17, PJ Duncan. You name it, Top of the Pops was my favourite magazine and I would starve during recess just to buy these magazines from the newstands. I even traveled to UK with my family just to watch their concerts. I was in love with these white guys. But my preference has always been honey-blonde or brunette.

Back then my secondary school was near an international school located in central part of Singapore.  Since we girls never really had proper contact with boys, we would watch these ang moh boys loiter around the area. As I was the prettiest among the six group of friends, naturally I got more attention from these boys.

One day I met Phil. He was a brunnete with green eyes just as I like it. I gave my first kiss to him. He taught me how to masturbate and also how to give him a hand job. At 14 I watched my first ang moh porn with Phil. Those were my first lessons. It got me more curious to explore the human reproductive system. Amazing how the penis can grow, somewhat magical. Before we could get on to the real works, his parents had to leave Singapore abruptly. The puppy love lasted for 3 months only.

Fast forward, I lost my virginity when I was 16 just after O levels. I gave it to a local guy name William Lim Ming Hui. He was tall, tan, sporty and was a school sprinter, but not good-looking. He has a typical Singaporean chinky man look. Luckily he has nice set of pearlies. He was 2 years  older and studied at NAFA, so kinda arty-farty type of fella. One day he asked if I had tried blowjob, I said no. He reached out a sourvenir baseball bat and started some stroking action. I told him it was unimaginable and weird because a penis cannot be that big. Haha I wasn’t that silly. So he went to the fridge, ransacked the vegetable compartment and took out two Japanese cucumbers. He instructed me to hold one of it while he held the other.  I clasped it tightly but he told me to stroke it gently. It was kinda weird moment for us but his effort was there.  I gave him A for effort. So I told him nope, I cannot imagine blowing a cucumber. Getting frustrated, he shoved the cucumber in his mouth and demonstrated to me how the motion and momentum should be like. I laughed. It was an unforgetable sight. Well we were still young and naive then, so we did silly things. I guess 2 years older doesnt make a person more mature than a 14 year old. Then, I finally confessed that I have watched porn when I was 14. He got angry and threw the victimised cucumber out of his window. Hilarious.

At that point I asked myself, what the hell just happened. I was thinking, wouldn't it easier for him to show me a porn with a BJ scene or just unleash the snake from his bermudas. Anti-climax, my fault. So to coax him, I slowly began to unbutton my floral blouse and revealed my cotton bra from Beedees. I still remember it was not underwired with faint pink small flower prints. As I was quite well-endowed, as usual he was always turned on to see my teeties. Prior to this we had petted several times at his place. I was always wet so I foresaw there will be no penetration issue on the day I will have sex for the first time.

Seeing this sight, he was no longer angry. He gave me a smirked and a playful laugh. His breathing got heavy and he couldn’t control himself. Knowing that I was prepared for this, I grabbed his penis and released it from the constipated environment. He gave a long moan. He suddenly grabbed me and threw me on his single bed.

As his room was on the second floor and tucked away in a corner, no one could hear us. Besides, no one was around except for his pug. We had the privacy we wanted.

I was ready for this day. I had psyched myself that I will give up my virginity to beloved, chinky prince charming William Lim Ming Hui whom I loved the most in this world. More than my brand new United Colours of Benetton bag and shoes.

Fast Forward. The sex was a failure and boring. It was not like what I had imagined. It wasn’t like in the porn. It sucked! His penis was okay, much smaller than Phil’s but I suppose it was an Asian size dick. No complains yet because I haven’t experimented other penises for comparison.

He was a 36:12 minute man.  I had timed him with my pink Baby G watch because I read in the Her World magazine that an average man should last AT LEAST  5 minutes for first time fuck. We were both virgins,  I had stained his bedsheet and he had sprayed his cum on my newly rebonded hair and my new UCB bag which was at the edge of the bed. Bad aim and ticked me off.  He came so much and it smelled bad. Lucky me I didn’t give him a BJ. If not I would regret it my whole life. Eversince then I gave him a nickname Stinky Tofu.

Fast forward, we had sex several more times, it got a bit better and timing improved. By the time we had our last fuck, his best time was 10 minutes plus.  Yawns. We kinda drifted after the first fuck, it was a nightmare for me. Everytime we fuck it was like a torture. By the 3rd session I was loathing every second of it. We grew apart sex was less regular after I got into JC. We broke up on his 19th birthday.

I was still traumatised by the stinky smell. Dunno what he had eaten all his life. All I know his favourite food was chicken rice or char siew rice. He ate those everyday. Apparently he had himself checked after I insisted, and the doctor told him there was nothing wrong. He has just bad genes I suppose. Oh well. I pity his future girlfriend though. Hope he had his problem fixed. Hope he still alive to enjoy good sex with the one he loves.

Fast forward, my subsequent encounters mostly have been with ang mohs and several good relationships with local men. The percentage would be roughly about 70:30. See.. not too bad right, I havent boycott our local men yet. Just lost faith that’s all. Maybe one day I will rediscover it with someone. Who knows.

Till our next sharing..TGIF.

Love, GS.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

I love SEX and I cannot Lie

Hello everyone. Thank you for visiting my blog. When i started this blog it was supposed to be something therapeutic. Pen down my life happenings and drama, something to laugh about and share with my friends, my nieces or probably my offsprings. Didn't expect it to get pick up by some people in the cyberspace. oh my, I'm flattered and tickled.

According to friends, netizens are curious about how I look like. maybe I look like a monster, maybe I look like lady macbeth, or a witch. Hahah. I don't have the photos now as I'm currently working, I shall upload whenever i have the time later one. But here are my vital stats and a brief info abt myself before I'm off to a meeting:

Name: Grumpy Spinster
Location: Singapore City
Native Singaporean.
Vital stats: 34C Teeties, 24 Waist, 33 35 Ass
Height: 1.60m
Size: 0
Weight: 45kg
Age: 30-something

Long hair.
Enjoys running, swimming and yoga. Plays almost any kind of sports.
Sizzling hot and sexy.

Have tongue and belly piercings. No tattoos as I like clear skin.
Enjoys giving blowjob and lunch time quickie.
Don't like Anal job because I will have constipation cannot shit after that.
I don't find joy in breast fuck don't know why men like so much.
I like bondage and role plays.
I hate small penises, licking of armpits, short men.
I have 4 dildos of different sizes and purposes - Mr Luigi collection

Loves desert wines, any salads, chocolates and strawberries.
Works in a established MNC, holding a managerial position.

Bisoux xoxo

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Everybody loves Walker (not!)

I have a love-hate relationship with ang mohs. Although they have beautiful eyes, great accent and charming, I do hate them because of their mannerisms and too big headed. I will date all ang mohs EXCEPT Americans. 

I think Singapore has been and is still very tolerant towards ang mohs and we have allowed them to live peacefully in our small tranquil island with almost everything comfortable, clean and prompt. They took advantage of these comforts and think they could get away with just anything including cheating on their wives, especially coming from short men (better remembered as Frodo from The Lord of the Rings or a Half-Pint). let's define who are the smidgets.

Short Man Syndrome: the typical characteristic of any male under 5'10". Including attitude problems, and the necessary need to make their wife/girlfriend feel inadequate to compensate their own inadequacy. Tendency to be bullies and abuse people to make themselves feel better. Where a person of short stature believes they have the ability to take on any person at any task. It is a general cockiness that is in a short person to replace the lack of height. Beware of anyone with short man syndrome. 

Here's one example of Napoleon complex. Meet Walker. Chanced upon him at 1-Altitude Bar.

He is a half-pint American guy, speaks a little Malay but just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He blabbers non-stop like a naggy old woman. He’s a pain in my ass, so as others who have come across him too. He is annoying.

Walker aka Frodo aka half-pint bragged about an acclaimed title in a beer chuggging contest at Ice Cold Beer bar last year. With that in his spirit, he proudly announced his participation for 2012 even before the contest is announced, and was confident he will win the title again this year making him the defending champion. But before the clock struck midnight, he was was swaying left to right, talking to our branded handbags and mumbling to a cigarette like a retard. As a grand finale, he puked at my friend's Gucci shoes and was dead drunk! -_-

Before Frodo got drunker than drunk, he initiated a conversation about the underage sex scandal which had implicated 48 SG men so far. Frodo again boasted that these men are stupid to pay for sex when it is so easy to get one from SG girls. Frodo  has never paid for sex because he could easily get it for free. He boasted that he slept with 100 women every year and was so easy to charm SG women with his looks and height. Ok wait...i think he forgot to measure his length because he is a smidget. Judging from his size and character, I bet his penis is as small the size of a my nephew's pinky but his ego as big as the universe. 

Frodo tried to pick up my babe friend who is 1.75m tall while he is only about 1.65m. Parallax error! What a twart! When I told him to cool off a little as she is attached, he defended himself and told us he is married, but his arm was still wrapping around my friend’s shoulder (she was sitting down) with strong vibes that he wanted to bed her.

I ordered some food: pizzas, tortilla chips, chicken wings and truffle fries. Frodo asked if he could eat because he was hungry. I agreed and invited him to try some. To my horror, he ferried the fries and chicken wings to his group of ang moh friends, and shared my paid food with them. He finished my bowl of truffle fries and ate half of my cheesy beef chilli with tortilla chips. WTF!!

Farking stingy white thrash who just leeches on women for sex and food. What cheap skates. Shame on you Walker and friends. Rule number one: Never date Americans because they are a bunch of freaktards. Just look at how the world was ‘raped’ by them.

My message to Walker’s wife, please don’t waste your time with this stupid, half-pint man. Get a divorce, fight for custody of kids, (if you have any) ,get an attractive compensation for the mess he has created. If a man can cheat once, he can cheat many times. If a man have cheated before, he will cheat again some day when the radar is on. Take care babe.